CN Party !

The Fictional Government
Headed by The Mask

Environment Dept - Captain Planet and his crew

The five youngsters and Captain Planet can carry on their after episode cleanliness awareness segment on CN and take care of the Environment. Any issues regarding plastic use or effluent wastage draine in the rivers can be easily solved... GO PLANET and in our case GO india ... with local flavour - Chakde India !!!

The Police Department - ' 'men

Superman, Spiderman, Batman and Phantom can patrol the whole nation for a change. Right from body guarding the PM to saving the small kitten stranded in a tree.
Spiderman, mind you - you are a part of police dept, so don't go around kissing people in dark dim-lit alleys, both normally or dangling clumsily from mid-air.

Woman inequality? The girls created from sugar, spice and everything nice will take care of everything thats not so nice to women society. And also shield from monkey trouble.

CBI - Scooby Dooby Doo and gang can take care of detective and espionage work, with some help from Tweety,Sylv and Granny.

Military - G.I.J.O.E troops will guard the nation border
Swat Kats - Tbone and Centurion's Ace make up the Air Force
Land - Rockwell of Centurions fame and Swatkat Razor
Marine - The sailor man Popeye
And the Defense General - He-Man

Financial Minister - Uncle Scrooge, the riches fictional character will take care of the national treasury, though he wont be allowed to bathe in it as he usually does. This frugal candidate will see to that not even a penny, or in our case paisa is lost wastefully.

Research Wing - Dexter will lead the Research sector of the country and provide solutions to India' problems, with support from Jetson family's expertise.
Johnny Bravo will be the typical celebrity turned politician.
Ed, Edd and Eddy will form the new-age paritran political party in an attempt to topple the government.

Wildlife - Dino the Dinosaur, leased from Freddy Flinstone, Pink Panther, Yogi the Bear, Road Runner and Jungle Book Characters will be employed in Wildlife Sanctuaries and subsequently India will evolve as the the most favourite hotspot of the world.

Agriculture - Popeye will hold multiple topdog posts. The active protagonist of Spinach can do it on a muchbigger scale and on a wider variety of crops. Wonder if he can gulp down a whole pumpkin !

Bugs Bunny will be the President. If the party is found to be incapable, then he ll dissolve the parliament with the iconic

THATS ALL FOLKS !!!

Why I dont want to become a Cricket umpire

Why I don't want to be a cricket umpire...

Off to off-field jobs... Umpiring would be a good option but with skippers hogging the work of umpires lately, that will prove to be laborious too. Nor can I dodge those mighty hurricanish bludgeoning straight down the ground by pinch-hitters.Nor can I watch non-subcontinental spinners bowl the same line in a drab way.Monty - an exception, I would give batsmen out just to watch him celebrate in his zany ways. Flat benign tracks which don't offer assistance to any mode of bowling and I cant just be watching the batsmen exploit such conditions and never get a chance of drinking gatorade while someone gets out.

I dont like the idea of being under scrutiny as I won't give Sachin out in the most fictitious of the dreams.
Bowled or caught or both... No - Ball.
LBW eh? My head will be ever ready to shake ( would love to add a digitus impucidus-middle finger salute)

And also the thought of carrying those sweat drenched hankies, glasses and battered foul-smelling caps of bowlers while they are bowling... Ugh ! Signalling four or six or leg-byes to empty stands when some away team is playing will perhaps top the charts for the most ridiculous sight in sports. With excellent tigerish fielders filled sides like Australia, I always have to be on the run to avoid their cannon-like impeccable throws and simultaneously monitor the stumps closely to check on possible run-outs. And the critics easily write us off as incapable when we refer to the 3rd umpire ass often... To hell with them.

After ditching the traditional white apparel for ODIs in the lines of commercialization of the game following the advent of Kerry Packer series, the ICC officials never spared a thought about the umpire's boring and sick white dress. No wonder, cricket players get all the limelight and celebrity girls ( though its for certain that they ll be dumped after a tour) . Another strong reason is that I am not good at pacifying verbal duels and even worse, expert at aggravating it. So the next time you see me umpiring for an Ind-Aus match, you can well expect WWE style clashes on field between Symonds or Hayden and Bhajji. And how I wish I could dance with Sreeshanth while he performs breakdance steps...

Thousands of thoughts will revolve in my head
~~Wow that hot chick sitting within my eyesight in the pavilion stand looks great ~~Damn that third umpire guy, sitting relaxed in his a/c room absolutely idle and just have to press a button to my rare query ~~ How I wish I could have a bluetooth device on for Hawkeye updates ~~ Jeez, this bowler's hankie smells worse than my socks, will never signal no-ball to him as it might prolong the time I have to carry this piece of shit ~~ You hard hitting batsman, dont ever think of hitting in my direction or I'll dismiss you for LBW on a bouncer ball ~~ Now,where is the restroom? ~~ Next tea break, I should somehow usharpannify or flirt with that Pepsi cart girl ~~ OMG, Symonds at mid-on position, even harder now to dodge his accurate throws ~~

But circumnavigating the globe ( OC la ) will be great fun and things can't get any better in Carribean beaches %-). And the bitter side of touring is Srilanka's sweltering heat and pathetic looking girls. ( Now, don't accuse me to be a racist!)
The other secret desires - to trip a bowler during his run-up and watch him tumble with that wicked smile, during India-is-gonna-lose-for sure situation declare the match abandoned due to poor light or do a Darrel Hair act.
Bribery am totally against it ... wait let me complete ... when am not involved in it.
Bribes welcome... be it a million bucks in cash or shares in Reliance or few sq.m of land along the IT corridor,Chennai !!!

BUZZ !!

X - Hiii... Wassup?
Y - Nm u shud oly tel me

Everyone who knows how to use a computer ( which implies IMs and Mozilla) would've come across the above conversation. Stupidity, but noone admits nor cares.Absurdness, it will seem like for someone new to the IM world,and a perfect example of a normal start to a conversation for a seasoned IM user.

The usual pre-signing out msg is cya,tc,gn,sd.
Why is that 'take care' for when everyone knows you are going to enjoy a peaceful sleep and that there are no harmful microbes lying undercover under your bedcovers or a cold blooded assassin waiting to stab you from inside the closet.
Goodnight and sweet dreams... Warmly and hearty wishes but the invconvenient truth is that noone means it.

Wassup ? Well that question cannot have answers as people take to chatting when they are bored or nothing to do or not bothered to work. So, a nothing much will evidently be the answer and you already know that. Though perplexing, nothing much is the phrase over which several hours of animated conversations are curiously built upon.
Answers like ceiling or sky... Doh, please grow up !

People with busy,in a meeting and be right back display titles(whether true or not), you could do without them. Or add " in'x' mins " to the phrase to serve some purpose.
Emoticons is another such topic.Its however true that statements and info that can't be exchanged over the phone or in reality, can be done without any discomfort or hesitation. You can always something controversial and if the reciever is enraged at it, you can add up with ;) just kiddin

The other day, while finding time to talk over the phone to a friend, I was narrating animatedly about some rumours on the round about me in my college.
Instead of making ahem ahem sound by modulating the voice, my friend actually said "ahem ahem" !

And least but still the last, certain people, in the objective of enlivening the conversation, suffix normal words with respective characters like
Hiiiiiiiiiii ; what ???????????????????????? ; oieeeeeeeee ; byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Imagine everyone talking or behaving the way they chat on IMessengers with wassup, lol, rotfl,BUZZ !! and by the time you finish byeeeeeeeeeeee, the intended recipient will be miles away. And you can never have two IM windows on, chatting simultaneously. Greeting one friend who had just come online with "heyy! long time since we chatted :( " while in the other window bitching, " god, the boring idiot online now". When someone cracks out a joke, try rolling on the floor laughing ( rotfl) or give a :D when someone ridicules you or give a :P while snapping at your friend or try saying you look bad followed by ;) to your latest crush....


Thinking about all this.... LOL !

Parottas, Temples and XII C !

Saturday (22nd March) - As I set afoot on my hometown madurai soil, I shuffled my hair in response to the silent breeze in my direction. I was back in Madurai after my longest absence from the city, 82 days and I was exceedingly on a hyper and floating.Its a beautiful city with a flower like architecture and famous not for its Tata Sumos,ruffians and Veecchu Aruvaals (as demonstrated in movies) but for its Temples,Jasmine,Parottas and overwhelming hospitality.

Nothing had changed in the city, I observed, as the autorickshaw cruised through the traffic less yet busy streets of the earlymorning Madurai to my spacious residence in KK.Nagar. With open arms and a gleeful smile, my tata opened the door followed by a warm amiable welcome from the rest of the family. A feeling of unusual comfort crept into me as I stepped into my room, whose walls know me better than any other person or thing. After catching some Z's for a few hours, I woke up to my mobile screamin out Bon Jovi's Have a Nice day...

After buying some novels for my friend and hogging at British Bakery's flagship outlet at Town Hall road, 8-9 fellas visited our school for perhaps the first time after passing out. Desperately wanting to catch a glimpse of my 12 C classroom, I climbed the stairs while million memories of my school days converged in my mind. The 12 C bench, which saw me famously sleeping while standing and providing a solace to me when not being able to withstand lectures...there it was, moved few feet upfront but still bearing the scars of my pathetic artistic engraving and the sheen of having lodged the 12th grade blabbermouth me hasn't faded a bit.

Almost my entire gang thronged at Veeru's place and splurged into loud merriment for almost an hour. Dinner at Carnival followed. More friends to meet the next day and more matters to discuss about. After a long talk with my whole family, I left 647,KK.Nagar at 8.30 pm and started for the railway station. I sat upright on the platform bench, hoping the audio speaker nestled on a towering steel pillar to yell - Nellai Express has met with some problem and is rescheduled to leave the city only the next day. But it never did. The train was bang on time and I lifted my feet off the ground and got into the train.

And I was no longer floating nor on a hyper...

Kingly King !

While channelhopping on TV, my eyes widened at the sight of Superstar dancing for a song from a movie, which used to be one of my childhood favourites.
A 1980s Rajnikanth starrer - Rajadhi Raja.
Nadhiya,Radha,Janakaraj,Radharavi and Anandraj were the other common names
in the movie.

Story in a nutshell - Rajni taking revenge on radharavi for the death of his dad
and friend by making his other lookalike act in his place.

Nothing was believable in the movie, right from two look-alike rajnis but different parentage to how they both curiously have the same voice and hairstyle.

Even the villain, who is supposed to be wicked and smart is not able to recognise Rajni incognito.In cognito as in,he wears orange clothes and sports a white beard and in the climax, he sports the one eyed look.Everything else is intact!
And god knows how the villain and his entourage managed to contact the magician rajni and why they couldnt recognise them.

The other Rajni agrees to act in the other Rajni's place after talking for a minute with him ! Which stupid insane duffer will agree to such a life-risking affair. In the ultimate climax, Raja drives his car straight to the scaffold room inside the prison. Excuse me,but dint prisons in the 80s have something called compound walls and security guards? Or was the movie scripted by JK.Rowling?

And Rajni is a mix of Superman and Spiderman as he enters Nadhiya's home with ease and handles seven ruffians(who in reality can finish off Rajni in seconds) with ease as if they are lifeless things. And the ever noisy Janakaraj lightens up the movie with his loud so-called comedy.

The usual big villain in the end whom Rajni trounces and vanquishes after initially taking blows; five songs promptly propping up every 30 minutes and a fite sequence every 30 mins; the artificial sets which can be easily identified ;songs with colorful sets and apparel.

But, Ilayaraja's pacy songs including the classics - En Kitta Modhathey and Maama Un Ponna Kudu songs hog the limelight.
The highlight of the movie is when Rajni takes on six people (the leader,two coll kids, two bald heads and one semi-bald) after dodging from them for the first minute and then striking back at them(Yup, like the movie Sachein).

Everything about the movie has room for people to criticise but then the one factor that nullifies everything is

SUPERSTAR

which is precisely why I watched the whole movie today for probably the tenth time:D