CN Party !

The Fictional Government
Headed by The Mask

Environment Dept - Captain Planet and his crew

The five youngsters and Captain Planet can carry on their after episode cleanliness awareness segment on CN and take care of the Environment. Any issues regarding plastic use or effluent wastage draine in the rivers can be easily solved... GO PLANET and in our case GO india ... with local flavour - Chakde India !!!

The Police Department - ' 'men

Superman, Spiderman, Batman and Phantom can patrol the whole nation for a change. Right from body guarding the PM to saving the small kitten stranded in a tree.
Spiderman, mind you - you are a part of police dept, so don't go around kissing people in dark dim-lit alleys, both normally or dangling clumsily from mid-air.

Woman inequality? The girls created from sugar, spice and everything nice will take care of everything thats not so nice to women society. And also shield from monkey trouble.

CBI - Scooby Dooby Doo and gang can take care of detective and espionage work, with some help from Tweety,Sylv and Granny.

Military - G.I.J.O.E troops will guard the nation border
Swat Kats - Tbone and Centurion's Ace make up the Air Force
Land - Rockwell of Centurions fame and Swatkat Razor
Marine - The sailor man Popeye
And the Defense General - He-Man

Financial Minister - Uncle Scrooge, the riches fictional character will take care of the national treasury, though he wont be allowed to bathe in it as he usually does. This frugal candidate will see to that not even a penny, or in our case paisa is lost wastefully.

Research Wing - Dexter will lead the Research sector of the country and provide solutions to India' problems, with support from Jetson family's expertise.
Johnny Bravo will be the typical celebrity turned politician.
Ed, Edd and Eddy will form the new-age paritran political party in an attempt to topple the government.

Wildlife - Dino the Dinosaur, leased from Freddy Flinstone, Pink Panther, Yogi the Bear, Road Runner and Jungle Book Characters will be employed in Wildlife Sanctuaries and subsequently India will evolve as the the most favourite hotspot of the world.

Agriculture - Popeye will hold multiple topdog posts. The active protagonist of Spinach can do it on a muchbigger scale and on a wider variety of crops. Wonder if he can gulp down a whole pumpkin !

Bugs Bunny will be the President. If the party is found to be incapable, then he ll dissolve the parliament with the iconic

THATS ALL FOLKS !!!

Why I dont want to become a Cricket umpire

Why I don't want to be a cricket umpire...

Off to off-field jobs... Umpiring would be a good option but with skippers hogging the work of umpires lately, that will prove to be laborious too. Nor can I dodge those mighty hurricanish bludgeoning straight down the ground by pinch-hitters.Nor can I watch non-subcontinental spinners bowl the same line in a drab way.Monty - an exception, I would give batsmen out just to watch him celebrate in his zany ways. Flat benign tracks which don't offer assistance to any mode of bowling and I cant just be watching the batsmen exploit such conditions and never get a chance of drinking gatorade while someone gets out.

I dont like the idea of being under scrutiny as I won't give Sachin out in the most fictitious of the dreams.
Bowled or caught or both... No - Ball.
LBW eh? My head will be ever ready to shake ( would love to add a digitus impucidus-middle finger salute)

And also the thought of carrying those sweat drenched hankies, glasses and battered foul-smelling caps of bowlers while they are bowling... Ugh ! Signalling four or six or leg-byes to empty stands when some away team is playing will perhaps top the charts for the most ridiculous sight in sports. With excellent tigerish fielders filled sides like Australia, I always have to be on the run to avoid their cannon-like impeccable throws and simultaneously monitor the stumps closely to check on possible run-outs. And the critics easily write us off as incapable when we refer to the 3rd umpire ass often... To hell with them.

After ditching the traditional white apparel for ODIs in the lines of commercialization of the game following the advent of Kerry Packer series, the ICC officials never spared a thought about the umpire's boring and sick white dress. No wonder, cricket players get all the limelight and celebrity girls ( though its for certain that they ll be dumped after a tour) . Another strong reason is that I am not good at pacifying verbal duels and even worse, expert at aggravating it. So the next time you see me umpiring for an Ind-Aus match, you can well expect WWE style clashes on field between Symonds or Hayden and Bhajji. And how I wish I could dance with Sreeshanth while he performs breakdance steps...

Thousands of thoughts will revolve in my head
~~Wow that hot chick sitting within my eyesight in the pavilion stand looks great ~~Damn that third umpire guy, sitting relaxed in his a/c room absolutely idle and just have to press a button to my rare query ~~ How I wish I could have a bluetooth device on for Hawkeye updates ~~ Jeez, this bowler's hankie smells worse than my socks, will never signal no-ball to him as it might prolong the time I have to carry this piece of shit ~~ You hard hitting batsman, dont ever think of hitting in my direction or I'll dismiss you for LBW on a bouncer ball ~~ Now,where is the restroom? ~~ Next tea break, I should somehow usharpannify or flirt with that Pepsi cart girl ~~ OMG, Symonds at mid-on position, even harder now to dodge his accurate throws ~~

But circumnavigating the globe ( OC la ) will be great fun and things can't get any better in Carribean beaches %-). And the bitter side of touring is Srilanka's sweltering heat and pathetic looking girls. ( Now, don't accuse me to be a racist!)
The other secret desires - to trip a bowler during his run-up and watch him tumble with that wicked smile, during India-is-gonna-lose-for sure situation declare the match abandoned due to poor light or do a Darrel Hair act.
Bribery am totally against it ... wait let me complete ... when am not involved in it.
Bribes welcome... be it a million bucks in cash or shares in Reliance or few sq.m of land along the IT corridor,Chennai !!!

BUZZ !!

X - Hiii... Wassup?
Y - Nm u shud oly tel me

Everyone who knows how to use a computer ( which implies IMs and Mozilla) would've come across the above conversation. Stupidity, but noone admits nor cares.Absurdness, it will seem like for someone new to the IM world,and a perfect example of a normal start to a conversation for a seasoned IM user.

The usual pre-signing out msg is cya,tc,gn,sd.
Why is that 'take care' for when everyone knows you are going to enjoy a peaceful sleep and that there are no harmful microbes lying undercover under your bedcovers or a cold blooded assassin waiting to stab you from inside the closet.
Goodnight and sweet dreams... Warmly and hearty wishes but the invconvenient truth is that noone means it.

Wassup ? Well that question cannot have answers as people take to chatting when they are bored or nothing to do or not bothered to work. So, a nothing much will evidently be the answer and you already know that. Though perplexing, nothing much is the phrase over which several hours of animated conversations are curiously built upon.
Answers like ceiling or sky... Doh, please grow up !

People with busy,in a meeting and be right back display titles(whether true or not), you could do without them. Or add " in'x' mins " to the phrase to serve some purpose.
Emoticons is another such topic.Its however true that statements and info that can't be exchanged over the phone or in reality, can be done without any discomfort or hesitation. You can always something controversial and if the reciever is enraged at it, you can add up with ;) just kiddin

The other day, while finding time to talk over the phone to a friend, I was narrating animatedly about some rumours on the round about me in my college.
Instead of making ahem ahem sound by modulating the voice, my friend actually said "ahem ahem" !

And least but still the last, certain people, in the objective of enlivening the conversation, suffix normal words with respective characters like
Hiiiiiiiiiii ; what ???????????????????????? ; oieeeeeeeee ; byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Imagine everyone talking or behaving the way they chat on IMessengers with wassup, lol, rotfl,BUZZ !! and by the time you finish byeeeeeeeeeeee, the intended recipient will be miles away. And you can never have two IM windows on, chatting simultaneously. Greeting one friend who had just come online with "heyy! long time since we chatted :( " while in the other window bitching, " god, the boring idiot online now". When someone cracks out a joke, try rolling on the floor laughing ( rotfl) or give a :D when someone ridicules you or give a :P while snapping at your friend or try saying you look bad followed by ;) to your latest crush....


Thinking about all this.... LOL !

Parottas, Temples and XII C !

Saturday (22nd March) - As I set afoot on my hometown madurai soil, I shuffled my hair in response to the silent breeze in my direction. I was back in Madurai after my longest absence from the city, 82 days and I was exceedingly on a hyper and floating.Its a beautiful city with a flower like architecture and famous not for its Tata Sumos,ruffians and Veecchu Aruvaals (as demonstrated in movies) but for its Temples,Jasmine,Parottas and overwhelming hospitality.

Nothing had changed in the city, I observed, as the autorickshaw cruised through the traffic less yet busy streets of the earlymorning Madurai to my spacious residence in KK.Nagar. With open arms and a gleeful smile, my tata opened the door followed by a warm amiable welcome from the rest of the family. A feeling of unusual comfort crept into me as I stepped into my room, whose walls know me better than any other person or thing. After catching some Z's for a few hours, I woke up to my mobile screamin out Bon Jovi's Have a Nice day...

After buying some novels for my friend and hogging at British Bakery's flagship outlet at Town Hall road, 8-9 fellas visited our school for perhaps the first time after passing out. Desperately wanting to catch a glimpse of my 12 C classroom, I climbed the stairs while million memories of my school days converged in my mind. The 12 C bench, which saw me famously sleeping while standing and providing a solace to me when not being able to withstand lectures...there it was, moved few feet upfront but still bearing the scars of my pathetic artistic engraving and the sheen of having lodged the 12th grade blabbermouth me hasn't faded a bit.

Almost my entire gang thronged at Veeru's place and splurged into loud merriment for almost an hour. Dinner at Carnival followed. More friends to meet the next day and more matters to discuss about. After a long talk with my whole family, I left 647,KK.Nagar at 8.30 pm and started for the railway station. I sat upright on the platform bench, hoping the audio speaker nestled on a towering steel pillar to yell - Nellai Express has met with some problem and is rescheduled to leave the city only the next day. But it never did. The train was bang on time and I lifted my feet off the ground and got into the train.

And I was no longer floating nor on a hyper...

Kingly King !

While channelhopping on TV, my eyes widened at the sight of Superstar dancing for a song from a movie, which used to be one of my childhood favourites.
A 1980s Rajnikanth starrer - Rajadhi Raja.
Nadhiya,Radha,Janakaraj,Radharavi and Anandraj were the other common names
in the movie.

Story in a nutshell - Rajni taking revenge on radharavi for the death of his dad
and friend by making his other lookalike act in his place.

Nothing was believable in the movie, right from two look-alike rajnis but different parentage to how they both curiously have the same voice and hairstyle.

Even the villain, who is supposed to be wicked and smart is not able to recognise Rajni incognito.In cognito as in,he wears orange clothes and sports a white beard and in the climax, he sports the one eyed look.Everything else is intact!
And god knows how the villain and his entourage managed to contact the magician rajni and why they couldnt recognise them.

The other Rajni agrees to act in the other Rajni's place after talking for a minute with him ! Which stupid insane duffer will agree to such a life-risking affair. In the ultimate climax, Raja drives his car straight to the scaffold room inside the prison. Excuse me,but dint prisons in the 80s have something called compound walls and security guards? Or was the movie scripted by JK.Rowling?

And Rajni is a mix of Superman and Spiderman as he enters Nadhiya's home with ease and handles seven ruffians(who in reality can finish off Rajni in seconds) with ease as if they are lifeless things. And the ever noisy Janakaraj lightens up the movie with his loud so-called comedy.

The usual big villain in the end whom Rajni trounces and vanquishes after initially taking blows; five songs promptly propping up every 30 minutes and a fite sequence every 30 mins; the artificial sets which can be easily identified ;songs with colorful sets and apparel.

But, Ilayaraja's pacy songs including the classics - En Kitta Modhathey and Maama Un Ponna Kudu songs hog the limelight.
The highlight of the movie is when Rajni takes on six people (the leader,two coll kids, two bald heads and one semi-bald) after dodging from them for the first minute and then striking back at them(Yup, like the movie Sachein).

Everything about the movie has room for people to criticise but then the one factor that nullifies everything is

SUPERSTAR

which is precisely why I watched the whole movie today for probably the tenth time:D

Chronicles of School days - I ... Why blood? Same blood

Mrs.Banu, my XII cse teacher and also my class incharge was teaching some C language crap during december. Me and Ambi were sitting in the last bench with Raj and Muhilan in front of us. Having been warned umpteen times not to talk during class, we were constantly gibbering and gossiping and giggling. And the watchful Mrs.banu ordained us to stand for the rest of the class. Not being able put up with the lecture anymore, I managed to doze off while standing thinking am hidden from her view by Raj.

And to the horror of everyone, I fell aside while sleeping and as a result, ambi was disturbed from his stance clumsily and she noticed it. And due to my special ability to sleep while standing,the whole group got into trouble.She sent us out of the class and dismissed our apologies at the end of the period and also the following day. Finally, on the third day, we went to Commerce class while she was lecturing. She made us wait outside that classroom. Raj and me were talking about Muhilan's goofy act earlier and started laughing meanwhile keeping an eye on the entrance of the class to check whether Mrs.banu is watching us or not. She came out of the class and yelled at us for talking n laughing even while waiting outside her room to apologise.

~~ Uh-hoh, the class had windows ! ~~

She was so furious that she ordered us to meet the principal immediately and more drama was to follow.
We waited outside P's room.And made sure she isn't watching out from tinted windows by calculating the angle from her table. Me and Raj started laughin at ourselves to have messed up things and were cursing fate. Presuming it wont be a big problem convincing our principal, we walked in to find in absolute horror, a huge mirror in the room and a scorning principal.

We could see in the mirror,the place where we had been standing and laughing outside her room moments ago.

And you don't need to be Sherlock Holmes to know what happened next !

Why blood ? Same blood ;)

American mappillai Dulhaniya Le Jayenge !

I detest those Indian guys in USA. Seriously.

The Indian population in US partly consists of guys who havent been able to secure a decent job in India and going off to USA. They see off the criticisms by not-so-well-wishers by smartly saying MS in US had always been in the back of their mind and that job+money is not what they are after but knowledge.
~ Adeengu ! ~

If we have a look at their past records, the history will be as dismal as anything.
Bad marks in 12th coupled with a never heard before course in a deemed university or a college ranked onehundred and soccham. 60% in college and to join the party is his abysmal under-average performance in numerous on-campus interview ( if any in their college) and screwing up royally in all off campus interviews. Crash courses in NIIT and GRE or other competitive exam training course - same story. And between all this comes his girlfriend, who bears with him for four whole years and finally dumping him when all other fellows get a job or pursue non-management quota higher studies.

And our hero, short of ladylove and a job,and with a score of failures under his belt, convinces his parents with stories of electronics being the future of the world and that he can make a good living after doing MS in US. And digging deep down the pockets of his parents, he finally is shipped off to US. And while in US, he isnt going to recuperate for his failures so far. Takes more than two years to complete his 1.5 yr course, anxiety and tension augmenting in his ageing parents. He gets to enjoy great food, babes and also wanders around the city in weekends.

And on the opposite end of the diagonal, there is this pakka prototype of sincere boy, with 1150+ marks in 12th, second day of Anna university counselling, 85% in college, placed in the first company in campus recruitment, works tirelessly for 5 yrs in 6-7 IT companies and never gives a thought about having a girlfriend as his parents are seeking a good alliance(bride) for him.

Bang ! The MS guy reappears in black and white suit, taking away the most goodlooking elite girls in the city with his monumental salary in US and the typical American maapillai accent. And the sidelined sincere fellow has to wait...

American mappillai Dulhaniya Le Jayenge !
(American guy will take away the bride)

Jeppiar 5th standard...oops...ECE symposium

Being just a first year and also relatively new to quizzing circuit, you may raise an eyebrow over the way I criticise this event but you ll back me after reading this.

The JPR college's ECE symposium Quiz Prelims started at around 1.30 and having already missed out on finals of various big quiz events like Techofes and IIT's biz quiz, we were low on confidence and morale and we were badly in need of a victory for motivation. With all the big quizzing moguls assembled at SSN's Instincts 08, we had more than just a good chance of winning this one by storm. We knew what was coming at the first sight of the question paper. Some questions :

When was Benazir Bhutto assasinated? a.26th dec b.27th c.28th
What is the land of cakes ? a.Scotland b.France c.some country which I dint bother to see
The Manchester of India ? ( This one had no choices, a written one...tricky question by their standards! )
And I was actually rolling on the floor laughing when I noticed three questions in Match the following mode !
We handed the papers and the finals was to start in another 10 mins.
We qualified.


And at 1.50, the "grand" quiz finale started, equipped with overhead projector and a huge working crew. Seeing this big horde of quiz organisers, I felt the questions will be of decent material. And they announced Round two - Dumb C
~~ Dumb -C? I think am in the wrong place~~

After explaining the rules of the round ( 2pts maximum can be scored in this round ) , Pravin was asked to enact MNCs and they had told earlier that the Dumb-C will be based on simple things. Can anyone explain on what basis, multi-national companies 'is' an object ??
And the other team got 'college', where they just pointed to the floor and got it right.... I swore that I wont give a hifive ever again after seeing that team (all smiles) exchange highfives after getting college right !

The third round was a video round where a 20sec clip was played and questions were asked on our observation power. Like how many cars in the entire clip and the pick of them....
A black and white video followed by the following questions - What was the color of the horse and question 2 - what was the color of the shoe ! Duh, it should either be black or white...
I went straight to the so called quiz master and asked, when the actual quiz will start and when this stupid crap will end...And the reply was even more baffling, " This is a nontechnical quiz. So... " never completed the sentence.

So, in a technical quiz they ll show that stupid video of a car race and ask what circuit is used in the speedometer? What crap !

I had an ominous feeling that the next round will be even more worse than the previous ones and so was it !
Audio round was announced.
~ Yikes ~
We were played a 20 sec speech of someone in some language. Thanks to a misfunctioning audio system ( the speakers were deliberately turned away from us as if the speaker is right there inside it), we couldnt even makeout the language.
And the answer Fidel Castro in cuban language I suppose.
We lost the quiz.

I remember answering the second question Scotland when I was in fifth grade during Maggi quiz finals. And people here havent grown up.

SSN Instincts 2008

Hordes of hoardings galore, legions of students having a blast and voila... SSN Instincts is back this year, aggrandized to ultra-extravagance and providing the best platform for champions and aspirants to battle it out.

This three day cultural fest boasts a gripping schedule ranging from live alfresco rock show by the heavy metal band Scrath to Quiz events and with prize money so monumental that it may hamper its own credibility !

Having enjoyed a consummate fling at sweet success and participant's overwhelming extolling satisfaction over the past years, Instincts has always proven to be the talk of the town. Being one of the most favourite culturals in South India, the students turnout has scaled unbelievable heights and getting better and better everyyear.

Whether it is the fun filled informals or the state's elite racking their brain out in the much admired quiz event or the finest heads competing at various fine arts events or the dancers sweating it out in the choreo nite, Instincts assures 3 days of pure rocking fun, and in the unlikely case that you cant attend, then you are definitely missing something...Big time !

For a detailed insight about the various events
Check www.instincts08.com/schedule.html

Get a taste of whats in store at Instincts 08 by the few highlights that I've listed:

~~SS Music, the 24hr Southie channel will be conducting on-site Voice hunt contest

~~Vikram,the man of the masses and the Bollywood heartthrob is likely to be the Chief guest to inaugrate this three day bash.

~~ Terrific sponsors who have supported the fabulous event includes HCL,Satyam,Witco and a lot more. Also featuring media partners like SS music,Radio One,Pagalguy.com...
( I've just mentioned few of the innumerous sponsors)
The entire list of sponsors - http://instincts08.com/sponsors.html

~~ As already mentioned, an alfresco live rockshow by the band Scrath on Thursday eve

~~ The whole show culminates with the Choreo night on Saturday the 8th

~~ Myriad volunteers, on campus foodstalls and lot more...


And for Chennai people to commute to SSN through college buses, check out for busroutes - http://instincts08.com/bus.html

With a laborous organising crew spending backbreaking days and sleepless nights to make it a successful and an I-cant-believe-what-am-seeing event, Instincts 08 promises to be a cracker of a cultural festival.So, fasten your seatbelts as the adrenaline pumping action filled Instincts is all set and raring to go !

When the God of luck smiles on you...

After speaking to the daughter (12th grader) of my dad's close friend, my mind was clouded with thoughts that have been shrouded…

Had luck and fortune not been my allies in my 12th grade, I would’ve ended up in the same college, but as a candidate taking up an unworthy undeserving reserved seat. Phew, those torturous moments when my school principal loathed me in front of everyone ( not that I cared) and deeming a group of elite students as the strong prospects of getting the maximum marks, and terming me as a headstrong talent-wasting taking-advantage-of-parents-absence guy. Sweet revenge. And revenge becomes more sweet when you don’t have an idea of taking revenge but end up having taken a glorious revenge. I wasnt even studying as a normal person will do normally.

And I used to curse those role models that I was asked to look upto in order to succeed. The first three months of 12th grade probably set atone a thumping year, but it never materialized. I know there would’ve been myriad raised eyebrows and unbelieving gasps from people who were close to me and who knew my preparation all along when I announced my new marks, bigger after revaluation. Just try telling them subadesh deserved the marks that he got finally, and you will leave with bruised eyes or a swarm of expletives. And for the greater part of people who will never accept anything written above, I don’t give a fish.

Me, S.Gowtham and lot others were discussing nothing more than the capitation fees in various colleges till the public exams. The most nightmarish situation (I pray no one should get into) that I got into but recovered finally was that on the day before chemistry exam, at 10.00 PM, i had 400 more pages to go in organic chemistry ( that carbon crap) . The value of cut off marks in 12th is largely under weighed and consequently, it is not bothered about by teachers and students alike. And those smart, prudent students who revere only cutoff marks will finish off the exams as a piece of cake. And those unfortunate chaps who are narrow minded to take into account only the total marks and the parallel praises that he ll get from his school and relatives will have to choke and finally get into an average college ( anyway we ll end up in the same IT company eventually, but that’s a different thing) !

And yeah, resuming what I actually intended to say…

She said she had been told stories about me being a hardworking brainy fellow and also that

she has to look upto role models like me in order to succeed and obviously she would’ve cursed me.

See … History repeats…!