Rahul Gandhi, in his quest to strengthen the Congress at its grass root level, met a top actor in Tamil Nadu in a secret fashion. Secret enough that even 19 year olds who can’t expand UPA (United Party hmmm errr hmmm?) are taking blind potshots at the cloak and dagger meeting… Here goes another!
Though this was initially modeled on a common Sardarji, the goat of all national jokes, I felt I should move with the changing times and hence, the nxg laughing stock - the Indian Politician - Suresh Kammanaati, who is an opposition party member, and is trying to score as much brownie points as he can through this interview as the elections are around the corner…
Reporter– Sir, the Commonwealth games to be held in New Delhi is just a year away. And the very sluggish construction has resulted in the stadiums being only 25% constructed. Shouldn’t we have the stadiums ready by now?
SK - Immediately on seeing the schedule, I knew we would be in deep waters later on. I even
requested the Sports ministry to instead conduct games like chess, carom, pallanguli, Ko-ko, Mangaatha and kabbadi, which won’t require new stadiums! But the ruling party protested saying the athletes from other countries are not accustomed to such games. Whose side is the ruling party on? They care more about the foreign players who will be competing against our own countrymen! I sense a treachery here!
Reporter - Sir, the proposed Games Village is rumored to have inadequate restroom facilities, due to budget deficit. Is it true?
SK - Yes, it is true. Why do we think we named it as Games 'Village' ? Just like the old villages of the early 20th century, the athletes should attend to their nature's call out in the open only.
Reporter– Ugh! Whatever. Moving on. Despite having a population of over a billion, we are unable to produce world class athletes. What is your take on that?
SK – Do not blame my countrymen. They have been trained with games such as ko-ko, gilli danda, jallikattu and Kabbadi right from their child hood.
Reporter – (Interrupts by clearing his throat) – But sir, we should…
SK (Ignoring the reporter) - But the world, unnerved by our supremacy in these games, doesn’t include them in Olympics and other world championships. So, if the people of this state vote for my party and lead us to victory in the upcoming elections, I PROMISE I would take these desi games to the Olympics and make sure our participants return with not just their reimbursement bills but with a few medals!
Reporter- (Muttering swear words under his breath and masking it with a smile) – What does it take for India to win next year’s Commonwealth Championship?
SK – India shouldn’t invite Australia and England to next year’s championship. Possibly scare them off with swine flu threat or special screening of blue (even movie reviews were incomplete as movie reviewers left on their flight to India or we’ll bring ‘non-Whites’ movement back into the fore !
Reporter – Thank you for spending time with us. (Relieved, gets up and is about to leave).
SK – Hey wait, I need a few publicity stills, take a picture!
Reporter- Of course, how would I forget that? (Takes out his cam as Kammanaati strikes a pose)
SK – Wait. Does my blue shirt go well with the red tie?
Reporter – Doesn’t matter, sir. We will be publishing only a black and white picture
SK – So?
