The New-age Se7en Deadly Sins

Groan, we did when Amitabh was reduced to a mere angry puppet in the Sholay remake. Sigh, we did when Rajni's yesteryear blockbuster Maapillai was remade and released to empty seats. Timeless classics have been put to shame by their new-age versions. But with utmost respect to David Fincher's serial killer-thriller Se7en, I present to you, my list of Se7en victims :D

7. GLUTTONY

Popeye, for all the spinach he gulped down in the name of winning over a lame languished skinny chick, Olive Oyl. In the 1930s, during the economic depression, the children of America looked up to Popeye as a hero and consumed a lot of spinach causing chocolate and ice cream vendors to look for alternative jobs. Maybe Al Capone was one of them! Ok Popeye can be pardoned on this account, as without Al Capone, we wouldn't have been fortunate to see Godfather and in turn a Nayagan. Ok, so what is it about Olive that Popeye was so smitten? Or was his one eyed vision leading to a 2-D view? We'll never know. But for misleading children towards skinny looks and spinach lust, Popeye will be punished.

Kareena would be shocked to know the origins of Size-Zero!

6. GREED

The DMK, for looting more than they could hide! Looting 400-500 crores for the sake of election bribery expenses is pardonable. But 176,000 crores :O What can the party possibly do with somuch money. Endhiran was a smart move, but it cost only 150 crores, which amounts to less than 0.1 % ! This target is tricky though. The party's leader, the mastermind of all the scandals in this part of the country is rumored to be dead :P . He shies away from almost all public gatherings n interviews. Maybe for political leverage, they are moving him around in a wheel chair even though he is dead !

While the party's leader is famous for Black-Money looting, a similar guy - Stephen Hawking - is popular for Black-Hole mooting.

5. SLOTH

Samaraweera, the much celebrated Srilankan middle-order batsman is my favorite bunny for insulting. With a healthy test average of 55 and a dozen centuries to his name, why him ? His batting average in Lankan, Bangladeshi and Pakistani roads (read pitch) stands at a towering 65, 90 and 55. Nothing wrong yet right ? In Indian, Australian, South African and English grounds, it is less than 25 each! This coupled with a strike rate just above 45. And the ICC executive committee is racking its brain wondering why Test cricket is not sought after much these days. Forget the Pink ball D/N Test cricket implementation. Just give Samaraweera the pink slip!

Thanks to Samaraweera, Golf seems interesting !

4. LUST

Charlie Sheen/ Charlie Harper, best known for Two and a Half Men and Wall Street. We've seen and heard of bad ass casanovas and philanderers on screen and in real life. But no one has ever ended up hospitalized after a night of debauchery with booze and two lassies ! To be a drunken womanizer is one thing. But getting hospitalized is like getting into a depression as a result of merry laughing! Phew. He defeats his contenders, hands down ( no pun intended! ) .

Well, some might argue that he should figure in the ENVIED list. Sigh. No, I mean, dammit. He deserves only this!

3. PRIDE

Mr. Arun Lal, the TV host / commentator who claims to have played for India centuries ago. His famous cricketing insights like "the key to win the match is to excel in 3 depts : bat, bowl n field" are popular among satirists. Unlike him, I hate to rave on incessantly to make an obvious point. In short, nobody likes him.

Mandira Bedi - Another TV host with the same cricketing acumen but

then, nobody complains :D

2. ENVY

The hapless villains of Indian Cinema will have to be punished for their excessive envy of the movie heroes. How many times have we watched a Villain scream and swear in fury (though he has the hero at gunpoint) and hence giving the hero enough time to wriggle out of the situation? How many times have we seen the villain gang members take on the besieged hero one by one and getting drop-kicked n punched though they could've taken him down together ? How many times have we seen the villain terrorists misfiring an entire round of bullets at the hero in close range but getting fatally head-shot by the hero's first attempt?

1. WRATH

The Roulette wheel at Anna University's paper correction center.